Enlightment

I have always been very cynical about love. In college when everywhere used to be love in the air types ambiance..I was the only one who used to discourage people and ensure that they become really pessimist about the whole love thing. I had even challenged few of my mates who were in a relationship for years and in my way enlightened them that its nothing but a mere attraction, infatuation, addiction, habit or may be even lust. and you know what 99% of times I was successful.
I used to be so proud of my achievements. I still remember there was this casanova types boy who was my batch mate, though he never tried upon me.. nor did i let him.. but we were good talking buddies..(don't know why everyone used to love talking intellectual.. and philosophical talks with me.. may be I am good at that.. maybe It used to be enlightening for them.. ) anyways. we both used to talk about his all affairs with girls and most of the time I used to find him searching for true love .. he was like that princess who wanted to kiss all frogs ... and i used to console him that dear there is nothing called true love and love for that matter.. if u kiss all frogs you are just increasing the number of kisses and nothing else..

Despite of all my counseling to all the guys who were so called in love in their college days , I always found myself wondering as in how stupid they are. For what they call love is something like a deodorant to hide odor when you don't bathe for days... for you know what’s wrong still you want to ignore and still feel good.
In my world I was always on a search.. an unintentional search. May be I even wasn't aware that I was on a search to find something which I call LOVE. I always knew that I am on a quest and I always used to tell people about it but never knew what the quest all about is.
I am a die hard fan of economics and its theories. I always feel that perfection is nothing but total equilibrium of all resources and their utilization. In all states and time everyone's life can be just perfect. So I was content in my perfection.
My friends used to almost curse me that You are so fussy about this issue and one day you only are going to land up in a love issue.. badly I always used to tell my friends that see I am soo against this love thing and so arrogant towards it, love would definitely take a revenge from me, it would happen to me when and where it would be least expected and I wont even realize. And guess what I was so right. For me love was something what meera is all about I still love that song:" Humne dekhi hai in aakhon ki mehekti khushaboo, haath se chhu ke isse rishton ka ilzaam na do.. sirf ehsaas hai ye rooh se mehsoos karo, pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do koi naam na do.."
For me this has always been definition of love for me. And When it actually happned It took me months to realize that whatever alien feeling I am going through is nothing but is love.. . that too People around me told me that look you are in love!

And as always I felt.. Oh Maktoob!!

Things were lying in front of my eyes and I was ignorant of them.. and guess what it when I realised that its love.. I completely shook me up to know that something I was always cynical about could actually happen to me! Perhaps It was all maktub.. sometimes I wonder over myself only.. for the verses I had written far ago.. are actually a perfect fit for many situations.. one of those verse is :

"Yaar 'Maktub' thaa aakhiri faisalaa,

Phir bhi fariyaad mein bekasaii reh gayii"

Now when I am enlightened I really know What my quest was all about.. Why I am here.. Why things are the way they are .. I no more have any regrets from my life or people.. in fact now I am thankful to everything that has happened to me.. The best part of this feeling and sense of realization and enlightenment is that.. it is just what I was always searching : Something which I can call as Love .. with which I always associated Meera with.. Something that gives me a feel of that song..
What I like the way things are now.. is that I can relate it to what all prophets, holy books have always been saying.. and You know what.. just by experiencing a millisecond of love.. one can truly experience all this holy knowledge..
Now I fear nothing.. I am a free soul without any strings attached while I still am absolutely ready to live in this world with all kinds of strings, Handcuffs attached to me for once one achieves a state of enlightened soul, nothing can hold him/her back.
And love which I am experiencing is also free from all strings.. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. And just a droplet of it is as complete as a dew drop. I am not waiting for my beloved to come and complete me up.. I am complete in my total equilibrium and need nothing else.. world is just great like this.. had he been with me.. it would have been like a utopia.. but then there is no utopia.. and I accept it and am fine with it....I am not expecting him to enrich me back with the love I have for him.. for I believe love is selfless.. everything around you is already enriched .. you just have to open your eyes and embrace it. Love is in the smile of kid.. also in the cry too.. even in the sound of metro arrival .. so is when you are stuck in traffic jam.. its mere ignorance that somewhere we feel is no happiness or love or prosperity..
Open your eyes to love.. and then you would be wanting nothing else.. but to maintain it.. grow it and live in and out it.. for the prophet Kahlil Gibran has very righted has said :

“When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.And when his wings enfold you yield to him,Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires