Aadmi Bulbulaa Hai Paani Ka

I really like it when my thinking defeats/counter argues with my thinking itself, for I believe that constructive debate with self is the best way of debating over something.

My brother taught me one golden rule about debating.. he said u can be on either side of debating.. u can be equally good on 'for' side as well as on 'against' side.. I truly agree with him.. many a times i have witnessed an on going debate in my own mind, where my mind is at both sides, its on 'for' side as well as on 'against' side. and i really wonder this amazing debate for normally its always mind vs. heart debate or good vs. evil debate.

Here I am quoting a similar debate, if u see my post here , I mentioned there that i really don't understand why am i existent or for that matter why this universe even.. my family have tried explaining it to me , my friends tried as well.. but i was not satisfied with there answer.(maybe because I am too stubborn to accept an advise from outside..) In fact have had many long discussion over this point of view of mine with many people. I always used to think that they don't understand my point of view for though they are not wrong in whatever they are talking but.. Excuse me! I am also not wrong.. I used to say If I wasn't there, someone else would have been there.. but the way things happen they are meant to happen this way.and my this point of view was always questioned, for there are so many things that only I can do and are not possible without me.

Me the stubborn never used to accept it. But today I suddenly realized, what they all talk about was actually true. I keep my winamp always on with always Ghazals playing on... I believe that same lines heard again and again reflect different meanings of it.. many dimensions of it.. I was listening to a Ghazal I might have heard 1000 times before... suddenly my senses stuck to one verse... and it just made me realize very thing which everyone was trying to explain from a long time... it was like...

"Chaahane waalon se jab matlab nahi,

Aap phir paidaa huye kinke liye..."

and it was Maktub.. :) Things just lie in front of you but You are lost in some mirage and a sudden light of realization washes all ignorance away..... so I would like to thank all of those who kept trying making me realize this very fact. Thank You hai ji :)

Saraab

Ek din highway pe jab
ek baadal ke tukde ki farmaish ki thi tumse
tumne koi jawaab tak nahi diyaa tha
main gusse mein muh fulaaye poore raatse baithi rahi thi
aur tumne manaayaa tak nahi tha
bas drive karte karte beech beech mein
mujhe dekh muskurate rahe the
ghar aake ek sheeshe ke martbaan mein
dhoop sulgaakar mujhe de diya tha
main kitnaa bigdi thi tum par uss din
aur tumne kahaa tha,"Baadal maangaa tha na, ye lo!"
main uss martbaan ko hairaani se dekhti reh gayi thi.
aaj maine ussi badal ke tukde se tumhaari farmaaish ki to
ussne mujhe tumhaari yaadein uss martabaan mein sulgaake de di
lagtaa hai meri tamaam khwaahishon-o-khwaab ki taamir mein ek saraab hi hai.....

Relationships

"मुझको भी तरकीब सिखा कोई यार जुलाहे
अकसर तुझको देखा है कि ताना बुनते
जब कोइ तागा टुट गया या खत्म हुआ
फिर से बांध के
और सिरा कोई जोड़ के उसमे
आगे बुनने लगते हो
तेरे इस ताने में लेकिन
इक भी गांठ गिराह बुन्तर की
देख नहीं सकता है कोइ
मैनें तो ईक बार बुना था एक ही रिश्ता
लेकिन उसकी सारी गिराहे
साफ नजर आती हैं मेरे यार जुलाहे|"

- Gulzar


yesterday was watching a T.V. serial after a long time.. mom always used to appreciate this one.. has seen it sometimes while my to and fro to rooms.... one scene not actually scene but dialogue session invoked some thoughts in my mind.. in the scene, there was a guy very intelligent who solves all problems of the colony and there was an aged man, it was something like this:

" aged man : kya soch rahe ho sandeep?
guy(sandeep) : kuchh nahi ...
aged man : sabki pareshaaniyan hal karte ho, apni pareshaani ka hal tumhaare paas nahi hai..?
sandeep: nahi baba aisaa kuchh nahi lekine. main bas soch rahaa tha ki ye riste bhi bade ajeeb hote hain. jaise mera aur aapka rishta, mera aur chachi ka rishta, mera aur................ urmi .... urmi aur mera... rishta... sabse mera rishta hai hi..
aged man : haan hai to .. kyu kya hua?
sandeep: nahi baba bas main soch rahaa tha ki har rishta jo hum banaate hain usse hum apni marzi se control kyu nahi kar paate? woh waisi shakla kyu nahi leta jaisi hum usse dena chahte hain? aged man : beta! agar hum rishton ko control kar sakte toh woh rishte rishte nahi convinience kehlaate.. ab socho humne sona ki shaadi sudhir se karwaayi jo ek apaahij hai.. uske ma baap nahi hai, itanaa achha kamaataa bhi nahi hai.. sochta hu to lagta hai ki ye galat hua woh sona ke layak nahi hai.. lekin phir sochta hu ki sona uske saath kitani khush hai.. usse kisi cheez ki koi kami nahi dono ek doosare ke saath se poore hain.. tab mujhe isamein koi kami nahi lagti..
sandeep: lekin zaraa sochiye baba agar sudhir ka rishta sona ke saath nahi ........ urmi ke saath uske rishe ki bat chalti ... toh?
aged man : toh ye rishta bilkul nahi hota, koi nahi maantaa.. lekin sandeep.. agar urmi ke rishte baat tumhaare saath chalti ....... toh sab maan jaate..... "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now what stroke my mind was.. why can't we control .. what way the relationships will go..
ok ok if we can control then they would be convenience..
but then if we can't not control.. aren't there any chances that they would become inconvenience!!!

in the dialogue above the guy sandeep was afraid of the way his relationship with the girl urmi was changing its shape.. he was afraid that he can not control the way things are taking shape...

sometimes i think.. when i say " Oh its Maktub"
I really surpress my inability to change things... Saying Maktub is just an escape... for yes..
I am not supposed to know everything... things are sometimes just meant to be the way they are... things repeat themselves.. with new characters. who scream oh i wish it wasn;t this way..
who scream,

if qouted in words of Javed Akhtar :

" andhe khwaabon ko usoolon ka taraazu de de, mere maalik mujhe jazbaat pe kaabu de de"

or in words of Gulzar :
" belagaam udti hain kuchh khwahishein aise dil se, "mexican"filmon mein kuchh daudte ghode jaise|
thaan par baandhi nahi jaati sabhi khwaahishein mujhse|"

I have seen many relationships changing their names and yes feelings in them as well.. people holding on people opening up .. people fading away.. people straying away... some go mute.. some dissolve in... some reaching their so called " destiny" where one finds another and they lived happily ever after...

but some times i really feel.. are relationships all about it?


khona paanaa.. mananaa roothnaa.. ladna jhagadnaa.. ikraar inkaar.. ehsaas..sparsh... khamoshi aur svar..


who defines these relationships? or the limits??
we on the basis of our own wisdom.. understanding define .. ok this is my limit. beyond this.. relationships change meanings.. and then we live happily in our world of understanding...

as gulzar said...

"aao zabaanein baant lein ab apni apni hum,
na tum sunoge baat, na hum ki samajhna hai
do anpadhon ko kitani muhabbat hai adab se"
just the way we define on the seashore.. ok here is the place from where we wont get drenched by waves...

but then we forget that waves do not have limits.. u may be anywhere on seashore.. how much far from waves.. if the force is high.. u might get drenched.. for U R on seashore....

emotions are the waves.. u never know when would they rise up and ruin the limits u defined..

once i read a book called "who moved my cheese"
it talks about changes are all pervasive..its just we don't notice the changes until those a highly visible.. just the way u don't notice dirt on the table if u don't wipe it daily.. and one day u will see a mud rock there... :P

as i earlier said.. sometimes i feel saying Maktub is just suppressing my inability to change things.. it is also true that i was not able to change things just because i was ingnorant enough.. changes have always been there...

its just not I, it can happen to anyone of.. not just relationships.. but everywhere...

Its all Maktub..

things do occur... they always had to !
things do change.. they always had to!

but its just we need to be vigilant about changes.. and most importantly we must admit and accept that yes the changes happen and do we change.. we need to change..

its just we need to tell ourselves that.... since its all written, we need to realize it and not move back coz somethings weren't in our control.. for stepping back or hiding will not make things up.. just realizing and then changing accordingly will work..

in words of Gulzar :

"saath hi chalaa aayaa hai, jitna bhi safar hai,
raaste pairon mein rassiyon ki tarah lipte huye hain
laut ke chalne se bal khulte nahi, aur chadheinge"

Inventions...Maktub!!

today while coming back from Doctor's clinic(ya was a bit unwell), this thought just came into my mind, i was just thinking about the comments i got from my good intellectual friends (yes people's opinions sometimes work as realization...), and i just realized one thing...(though you may find it almost unrelated, but who cares related or unrelated, its just a realization.. and thats what we all crave for... :), all inventions, idea that click to our mind... do already are existing.. but is not not a fact that its that,who is said to have invented that just noticed it moments before someones else before would have done the same...

things just happen to be swaying in front of our eyes just like atomic molecules.. and all inventions or what we call AN IDEA.. happens to be just a little bit more of our vigilance towards our surroundings! just the way i said previously about gravity....

take the example of the bulb only.. today i guess most of us know that an electric bulb functions by heating the filament in it to incandescence by an electric current..... this process have always been like this.. variants might have changed.. which anyways would obviously have happened to be like this.. just that Mr. Thomas Alva Edison would have noticed it far before anyone else would have been had he not done it in 1879.. some other person have done it.. may be later... may be far far later...


the thing is that..... the procedure had always been there..

and when I thought it.. is just said.. oh yes...

It was all Maktub..

things are always there in front of our eyes just that we need to notice it..

I am not arguing upon anything.. I am not even questioning anything..

all I wanna do is..

notice what needs my attention... and i guess everything needs attention..
Here in this blog..
I would try to gather all I noticed..will notice so that I can or anyone else who finds it worth noticing ... can refer this place ensemble of realization..
and thanks to some of my friends.. who in or the other way always help me in my pursuit of realizations...

Expression

Sometimes I really wonder, why do I have to say Hello to someone when I can simply look right into the person's eyes and exchange a pleasant smile. wouldn't it be just a perfect way to greet!!

Why do we need to ostensibly TELL what we want to express..

Being a Creative writer myself, I really am not a believer in communication through Words...

same way I really don't like wishing birthdays or anniversaries.. not even wishing luck.. success.. congratulation.. oh I am sorry to know so..... I can express my feelings through my face, actions and gestures.. ya ya but non verbal cues have so many assumptive meanings.. get what you want to get.. Right!!
Inspired by this thought,once I wrote a Triveni(a poetry form invented by गुल्ज़
"फकत बेजार सा रिश्ता मेरा है फर्जी लफ्जों सेमेरे मौला ये खामोशी भी अन्धाज़-ऐ-बयान क्यूँ हो,न हो जब कहने को कुछ भी तोह फिर कोई जुबां क्यूँ हो"

it means, Words are something which I find fake and thus am just detachedly attached to them.. how I wish,even silence shouldn't have been a way of expression, where people assume meanings of silence..
what if I have nothing to say.. to comment.. I don't have any opinion.. then why shall there be any language for that matter.. may it all become just implied...
said and done... :)

as Maktub says.. its all already written..

and as Aristotle said..
"Everything that there is to say in this world, has already been said times without number ..."

Courtesy: Tanul (my friend)

so doesn't it make things very repeating or boring ... just some variations here and there don't change meaning.. ya ya in point of view spectator.I have though about it many a times, yet am still stuck on my initial preference.. non expressive expressions.. Yes its weird.. my own mother says..

"bachche! bina maane toh maa bhi khaanaa nahi deti.. bina bole kya haasil karoge"
(kid! without asking even own mother doesn't feed you.. what would u get without mutely?)

well call it my behavior.. or personality trait or stupid me..I firmly believe that the best way of communication is just through eyes or expressions or gestures...

I may not find right words to say how i feel.. but yes our body knows it all.. it just expresses itself.. just the way an infant tells that it wants milk.. its missing its mother.. same way we all grown up people can communicate.. and trust me it would be the easiest way to understand each person.
I am often confronted of attempting to find N number of meaning of one word or one action, Yes I do it, yes I like exploring multifaceted world of expressions.. and no regrets for it.. will continue doing it for all I want to do is find if not this.. then what would it have been like...in the words of Mirza Ghalib:

न था कुछ तो खुदा था, कुछ न होता तो खुदा होता
डुबोया मुझको होने ने, न होता मैं तो क्या होता ?
हुआ जब ग़म से यूँ बेहिस तो ग़म क्या सर के काटने का
न होता गर जुदा तन से तो जानूं पर धरा होता
[ behis = shocked/stunned, zaanooN = knee ]

हुई मुद्दत के ‘गालिब" मर गया पर याद आता है
वो हर एक बात पे कहना, के यूँ होता तो क्या होता ?
[ muddat = duration/period ]

(remember Maktub.. and Aristotle :P)

Ever Wondered....

Ever wondered what we read or discover in science actually is what have always been lying in front of our eyes... the simplest example.. Newton's law of gravity... he found it out with a falling apple that .. oh its gravity... and gravity that day might be really thankful to newton to give its existence a recognition..... thanks newton! finally i u know i have always been there... :P
or ever wondered.... what we call water is actually a chemical reaction between hydrogen and oxygen in certain given circumstances.... (ya ya when this phenomenon was discovered... they thanked the discoverer in same way as gravity did .. :P)

or ever wondered y stock market falls or rises up?(too much of wondering eh! :P)
ya ya u know because of n number of factors... systematic and unsystematic reasons...

and it all were actually "discovered"

but then it all were already existing..
now come back to the word : MAKTUB....
what did it mean?

its all written...

my dear friends...

every thing in this world is already existing... our questions before they strike to our mind.. already exist.. hence so are answers.. just like gravity.. :)
our problems have already been existing.. so r there solutions..

every thing in this world is MAKTUB..
and I dedicate this first blog of mine to all those realizations.. that i came across or would come across in my life time.. when i would apparently feel...

"oh its MAKTUB!" :)

and the reason why i named it Mrigtrishnaa is because...
before realizing that it was actually already written.. its mere a mirage that we have been living in..
all illusions.. and this very realization of MAKTUB.. ends this Mrigtrishnaa...

What is this Maktub

Maktub....
I first time read this word in the Paulo Cohelo's novel " Alchemist" and this word kept striking in my mind. This word as was explained in the book meant :

"It's all written"
My first reaction was : " oh is it really" ....


Well i must say book really lives up to this word. but do actually human life live up to this word?
I am really on a quest for this answer.
we wake up daily to same world, same people, same set of feelings, actions and reaction.
Is this what Maktub is all about?
or does it talk about the destiny thing!!
"as thy human says.. it all in the Holy Hands,
on who's wish life starts and life ends..."
oh really... is Maktub all about the All Mighty 's predefined wishes?
then why some people say that they make their own Destiny... and yes they do live up to it!
or is " Maktub" about ... made in Heaven pairs... or some luck thing .... written in our kundalis or in our hands....

What is MAKTUB....?
are you also thinking about this question?

well one answer types i found in Science...each theory explains what Maktub is all about.. atomic theory... Chaos theory.. string theory..
and yes... Economics also explains what Maktub is all about...

weird eh!!
will explain how.. in next post... :)